Do you have a Honey- Do list posted at your house?

Do you have a honey- do list posted at your house?

How do you get your hubby to work on it?

Is it causing arguments and resentment?

If you are like me, you look forward to a three-day weekend because you just might get to cross some of those things off as there is extra time off from work and other responsibilities.

But, like so many weekends before things just aren’t getting done and you begin to feel resentful and frustrated, and maybe you are letting your hubby know about your displeasure? He just seems to come up with every excuse not to get stuff done.

How long is your list? How long have some of the items been on your list?

In times like this I try to remember that my husband works hard every day trying to balance life and family just like I do. So, let me tell you some things that have helped to not let that honey-do list from getting out of control.

How to get your hubby to work on the Honey-Do list

Let’s start with what does NOT Work… You cannot treat him like a child and ground him, take away his phone or heaven forbid… do not take away sex (that is just punishing you too) there is no use both of you being miserable (you know what I mean)!

  1. Create a positive environment

Positive re-enforcement does work. In other words… reward for work accomplished. I use this process for myself as well. When there is a task I do not want to do and keep procrastinating. I give myself a reward if I work on it and especially when I complete it.

  1. Why is it so important to get it done

I have also found that if we talk about it and he knows why it is important to me then it helps with the work load. If you have a long list take some time to talk about deadlines and prioritize according to what you and he feels is important.

  1. Find a reward that he and you will like

Plan an evening out or a day trip that you have been wanting to do. I know when I have something to look forward to it makes everything better. And yes I believe SEX can be a really good reward…

  1. Plan it!

Have you ever stated working on a project and then realized you had to make a trip to the store because you did not have what needed to complete the project. Nothing is worse than getting everything ready to work and you have to make a trip to the store. This can set the project back and even sideline you to not even doing it. Before you start make sure to think it thru and that you have what you need.

  1. Get everyone involved

If it is important make it a family adventure. Time for everyone to get their hands dirty. Working and talking while you work makes the work a lot more fun. Even if you just hand him the tools as he is working being present and supportive can make a huge difference. If you have children, involve them, give them something to do. I remember getting some extra cheap paint brushes and let me kids “paint” with a bucket of water on the back fence. (it changes the color of the wood and they really think they are helping, but does not damage)

 

I would love to hear your ideas of getting your “Honey-Do” list done.

Xoxo,

Jodi

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  • regina

    these are great tips. i’m learning now that sometimes it takes more of a conversation than “do this please” requests. on top of that.. stepping back and listening more has been beneficial in my relationship. it’s quite a different paradigm from how it is growing up in an asian american family. Understanding a new culture (kiwi.. aka new zealand culture) has been a great learning experience, not only within my relationship, but in everyday life.

    • Jodi Harman

      Hello Regina, Hang in there… life and marriage are a learning curve. The biggest advice I can offer is to be nice to each other