Does Cheating End In Divorce?
Can you re-kindle love after cheating?
Who’s fault is divorce?
There is no such thing as a spouse having an affair or asking for divorce “out of the blue”. The reality of divorce is that before thinking about divorce, emotional and marital neglect has been going on for some time by both partners. If feelings of neglect, loneliness and emotional disconnect from your spouse are ignored eventually people will look for others to fill this need.
I am not condoning having an affair. But all too often people are surprised with the news that someone has cheated. When if they took the time to examine their relationship they would be able to see warning signs.
Sadly, emotional neglect and divorce usually starts small by keeping score and blaming the other person. The roles between husband and wife have changed so much over the last few decades. I think both men and women are running so fast just trying to figure life out that they end up empty, feeling alone and underappreciated, with no energy left to work on the relationship. Both men and women find fault with each other as they try to fit into the roles that the world dictates they need to be in.
This hurried life that most people find themselves in often leaves the one relationship that should be the #1 priority moved down to the bottom of the list. Your marriage should be #1.
A couple tips to stay emotionally connected to your spouse
- Spend time together every day! – You must find time to talk (not complain about your day) before you are too tired and want to fall into bed. Sometimes just 15 minutes can make all the difference
- Flirt with each other! – send texts, emails, call just because
- Touch each other more! – make sure to kiss and hug every day. Have more sex!
Can you rekindle love after an affair?
I believe you can. It will probably take some time. Usually trust and betrayal are the hardest, with trust as the one thing that will have be earned for the rest of your life.
I often like to use an analogy of a very high ladder as trust and love as a very high skyscraper building that the ladder leans against. Ultimate trust is the top and being at the top takes full trust, balance, and steadiness. As you climb the ladder of trust it must be climbed one wrung at a time. Because the steepness and height you often have to rest along the way before you to gain more height. The rest stops are meant to be for your spouse to get used to being with you again and allowing you back into the building of love.
Every time the spouse that cheated does something good for the relationship or builds trust, they go up a wrung. The goal is to move up the ladder.
All relationships have challenges. It is how you and your spouse approach and handle these challenges that makes your relationship stronger. As you both grow together there is a very real possibility that you may have that amazing, take your breath away relationship with your spouse that you both so desire.
Grab you copy of THE GIRLFRIEND EFFECT Book. It has simple steps to help you bring, intimacy, passion and love into your marriage… even after someone cheats.
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