Why We fight With The One We Love!?
Let me know if this sounds familiar…
When you are your spouse are not getting along and you feel like you are walking on egg shells because you are fighting all time- the fighting seems to be able the same problem over and over.
Arguments about family, kids, parenting skills, work and even sex.
You often feel unheard even if you say what you want, your spouse is just not listening. So in return you do not take the time to listen either.
You live in house with other people but often feel alone, disconnected, underappreciated. You become withdrawn and depressed and can’t seem to find a way out. You get angry at yourself for feeling this way and then angry at your spouse for not noticing you are upset. You long for happiness and to feel loved and connected again.
You constantly research ways to make your relationship better and for happiness. You may even look for other things, other people, or hobbies to fill the void that you are feeling.
I understand I have felt those same feelings before! I know how miserable and desperate you feel. And after chatting with hundreds of other people we are not alone. These feelings of disconnect and hurt are quite common.
No matter how long this cycle of fighting, frustration and disconnect has been going on there is hope!
I am proof that you can turn all that around and make your marriage strong and vibrant and LOVING AGAIN!
I teach you how to get over this in my online course: https://www.jodiharman.com/shop/
You CAN change the course and love more!
It was like a big light bulb went off in my head. I had the power to change my relationship and I had the power within me to change the outcome – to stop the fighting!
One of the biggest problems I had in our marriage was the constant criticism of each other.
The definition of Criticism is: The expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
You see, I had the notion that I was always right and I wanted things done my way in my time and if it wasn’t – well then I was not happy and it opened the door for me to criticize my spouse.
This was driving a wedge between us and we ended up fighting over everything because I could not look past the fact that HE WAS NOT DOING IT MY WAY! I felt that if he did not care enough about me to do what I wanted than he did not care about me or our relationship.
But, the day I realized that my criticism of him was my fault and I was the one causing it- CHANGED EVERYTHING. I spent some time apologizing to him and looking for things I could say that were nice.
I wanted to make things better and love again. I made a point to say nice things to him every day, to compliment him and STOP THE CRISTISISM.
I learned that it doesn’t matter how the clothes are folded, how the dishwasher is loaded or even if the house isn’t as clean as I would like- but to appreciate HIM FOR HELPING! Once I let go of having to have it DONE MY WAY and notice all the good things he was doing, life started to change.
I noticed he wanted to help more, we were fighting less and we began to spend more time together. This one little shift in me made a huge deposit into my marriage and family. (I started to use the same techniques with my children, it worked!)
My biggest advice: Criticism has no place in a marriage! Once you stop, your life will change.